i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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