I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
