My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
