then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
