Walk of Shame. In a state park.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
