I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
