i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
