You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize