Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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