This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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