I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
