ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
