she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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