Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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