You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
