I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
