i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize