I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
