I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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