Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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