white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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