oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
