I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
