Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
