yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
