So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
