I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I have aggressive nipples.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
