Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
