okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
