Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Randomize
