Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
