there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
