Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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