Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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