He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
