I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Still dying that you shit outside
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
