I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
