he puts the penis in happiness.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
