The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
