ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
