i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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