Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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