There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
