we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
