It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think people are normalizing furries
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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