so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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