I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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