I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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