does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
