3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
