ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
